Reef Central Online Community

Home Forum Here you can view your subscribed threads, work with private messages and edit your profile and preferences View New Posts View Today's Posts

Find other members Frequently Asked Questions Search Reefkeeping ...an online magazine for marine aquarists Support our sponsors and mention Reef Central

Go Back   Reef Central Online Community Archives > General Interest Forums > The Lounge

 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:18 PM
joeychitwood joeychitwood is offline
Wangateur & Sauveteur
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Up North
Posts: 1,849
ATTENTION PEOPLE: There is STILL No Cure For The Common Cold!

For the 100,000th time in my career, I had to break the news to a well-educated, intelligent couple here in the Emergency Department on a Sunday morning that their common colds must run a natural course, after which their symptoms will resolve.

This news is always met with skepticism, as if I secretly possess the cure for viral upper respiratory infections and am simply withholding it from them. People, trust me. If I knew how to cure the cold, I'd be running infomercials on late night TV selling my cure, and I'd be posting this from my own Caribbean island.

I'm off to see the next patient. Hmmm, cold symptoms for a week.....
  #2  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:19 PM
dc dc is offline
Moved In
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: {Wyoming}
Posts: 11,786
So, no cure huh?
__________________
~Debi~

Powertripping~is that a song or a dance?

RC Lounge~Humor Questionable ~Enter At Own Risk!
  #3  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:22 PM
Sk8r Sk8r is offline
Team RC Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Spokane WA
Posts: 12,245
Emergency Room? For the common cold?
OMG....
A nail shot up your sinus I could see... but this is an emergency?

I'll bet you get a million of 'em.

It's one bennie to being older than dirt---I must've exhausted the variations on the theme: I don't get colds, not in forever, like decades. Had a few bacterial sinus infections, but not the bona fide sneeze-and-wheeze virus.
__________________
Sk8r

"Make haste slowly." ---Augustus.

"If anything CAN go wrong, it will, and at the worst possible moment."---St. Murphy.
  #4  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:23 PM
emilye2 emilye2 is offline
Registered Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: In the doghouse
Posts: 318
Send a message via AIM to emilye2
Hey doc-I've got the most awful stuffed nose, and sinus headache. And this terrible raspy cough, is there anything I can take for it?














I just found out there is no cure for the most common forms of strep throat that kids bring home. Didn't bother a doc to find it out either, the computer is a wonderful thing!
__________________
~~~Emily~~~

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog. - Edward Hoagland
  #5  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:23 PM
Satori Satori is offline
Cancer Sucks
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Posts: 2,955
Did they demand antibiotics too?
__________________
-Mike-

"There either is or there isn't life out there. Both possibilites are frightening."
(someone help me out - who said this?)
  #6  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:31 PM
Fat Man Fat Man is offline
in the bathtub
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Way out yonder where the west commences
Posts: 528
So Doc Joey, did you give them an ice water enema and send them on their way?
__________________
Of course I could be completely mistaken.


Ed: "I hate to tell you this Dr., but there aren't any fish in that river. In fact, there isn't any river."
Dr. Lao: "That's ok. Me no use bait."
  #7  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:36 PM
UH_OH_5_OH UH_OH_5_OH is offline
That's Mind Bottling !
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 937
Hey Joey........if you're workin' right now......you gotta tell us how the waiting room fills up about 30 minutes AFTER the football games are over !!!!


......it's amazing how horrible everyone feels AFTER they've watched whatever particular sporting even is on the boob tube that day !
__________________
"What would you do if your legs got decapitated ?"--PoukieBear



I look at her with my head tilted to the side and in a soft voice I just say; You're so pretty !
  #8  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:42 PM
MarkS MarkS is offline
Crap Under User Name
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 3,149
Re: ATTENTION PEOPLE: There is STILL No Cure For The Common Cold!

Quote:
Originally posted by joeychitwood
For the 100,000th time in my career, I had to break the news to a well-educated, intelligent couple here in the Emergency Department on a Sunday morning that their common colds must run a natural course, after which their symptoms will resolve.

This news is always met with skepticism, as if I secretly possess the cure for viral upper respiratory infections and am simply withholding it from them. People, trust me. If I knew how to cure the cold, I'd be running infomercials on late night TV selling my cure, and I'd be posting this from my own Caribbean island.

I'm off to see the next patient. Hmmm, cold symptoms for a week.....
Sadly, I've had to go to the ER for a cold. It was the weekend, my doctor's office was closed and I was too sick to work. Needed a doctor's note before Monday. A $700 piece of paper!
__________________
I drank some fish food but is OK cause it tasted GOOD ~ vr697getta

The little men that live behind my eyes and scream into my brain told me to tell you hi.
  #9  
Old 09/09/2007, 01:53 PM
amcarrig amcarrig is offline
Premium Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Wethersfield, CT
Posts: 2,855
Quote:
Originally posted by dc
So, no cure huh?
Not yet but that was posted at 1:18....I'm sure that by now, they have been able develop something.

How about now Joey?

Now?

Nnnnnnnnow?
__________________
PC load letter? What the {bleep} does that mean?
  #10  
Old 09/09/2007, 02:11 PM
joeychitwood joeychitwood is offline
Wangateur & Sauveteur
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Up North
Posts: 1,849
Quote:
Originally posted by emilye2
Hey doc-I've got the most awful stuffed nose, and sinus headache. And this terrible raspy cough, is there anything I can take for it?
Hi Emilye2, you are in luck. I've just discovered the cure for the common cold during my lunch break.
Watch for my infomercial tonight on WGN. Just for you, I'll send you my book, vitamins and DVD for the low, low price of $149.95. But wait, if you call in the next 10 minutes (operators are standing by) the entire package is your for only $19.95. There's MORE! Pay with a credit card and I'll send you a free box of Kleenix impregnated with my miracle acne cure.
  #11  
Old 09/09/2007, 02:12 PM
Sk8r Sk8r is offline
Team RC Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Spokane WA
Posts: 12,245
Cure for the common cold: cheap whiskey, lemon, honey, heat and serve, repeat. You won't get over the cold but you may forget you have one.

Joey: howl! You forgot, the tissue should be returnable if dissatisfied....for the cost of shipping and handling.
__________________
Sk8r

"Make haste slowly." ---Augustus.

"If anything CAN go wrong, it will, and at the worst possible moment."---St. Murphy.
  #12  
Old 09/09/2007, 02:15 PM
Fat Man Fat Man is offline
in the bathtub
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Way out yonder where the west commences
Posts: 528
Sk8r my Granny added hot tea to that mixture. It didn't cure us but I'm sure it made a bunch of whiny, snot nosed brats a bit more tolerable.
__________________
Of course I could be completely mistaken.


Ed: "I hate to tell you this Dr., but there aren't any fish in that river. In fact, there isn't any river."
Dr. Lao: "That's ok. Me no use bait."
  #13  
Old 09/09/2007, 02:49 PM
Anemone Anemone is offline
Moderator Clone
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Valencia, California
Posts: 9,849
Quote:
Originally posted by Fat Man
Sk8r my Granny added hot tea to that mixture. It didn't cure us but I'm sure it made a bunch of whiny, snot nosed brats a bit more tolerable.
Yep, that's the "cure" I still use. Helps with the sore throat and sure makes you feel better!

Kevin
  #14  
Old 09/09/2007, 05:19 PM
crp crp is offline
Registered Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Clay, New York
Posts: 1,315
Joey, I'm surprised you don't know the cure!

The cure is:

chicken soup
ginger ale
rest rest rest

__________________
-- Carrie --

Oh shut up, and kiss my fairy wrasse. ~Gawain1974~

silly girls make stuff hard ~drauka99~
  #15  
Old 09/09/2007, 05:30 PM
Satori Satori is offline
Cancer Sucks
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Posts: 2,955
A lot of people believe whining helps too.
__________________
-Mike-

"There either is or there isn't life out there. Both possibilites are frightening."
(someone help me out - who said this?)
  #16  
Old 09/09/2007, 05:43 PM
crp crp is offline
Registered Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Clay, New York
Posts: 1,315
Quote:
Originally posted by Satori
A lot of people believe whining helps too.
Just the men
__________________
-- Carrie --

Oh shut up, and kiss my fairy wrasse. ~Gawain1974~

silly girls make stuff hard ~drauka99~
  #17  
Old 09/09/2007, 05:46 PM
jpfelix jpfelix is offline
Registered Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: jefferson city, mo
Posts: 625
Quote:
Originally posted by crp
Just the men
how else would we get your list delivered to us?
__________________
tony


__________________________________
"Some people are like a slinky, they serve no apparent purpose, but
they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the
stairs."
  #18  
Old 09/09/2007, 05:47 PM
dc dc is offline
Moved In
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: {Wyoming}
Posts: 11,786
Quote:
Originally posted by crp
Just the men

Amen!
__________________
~Debi~

Powertripping~is that a song or a dance?

RC Lounge~Humor Questionable ~Enter At Own Risk!
  #19  
Old 09/09/2007, 06:09 PM
Fat Man Fat Man is offline
in the bathtub
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Way out yonder where the west commences
Posts: 528
Our normal whine is "Can't you just go away and let me die in peace?"
__________________
Of course I could be completely mistaken.


Ed: "I hate to tell you this Dr., but there aren't any fish in that river. In fact, there isn't any river."
Dr. Lao: "That's ok. Me no use bait."
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:08 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Use of this web site is subject to the terms and conditions described in the user agreement.
Reef Central Reef Central, LLC. Copyright 1999-2009